Toasted Pink Envelope

2023 Write Now Winner - Adult 

Buck eases out of his truck and lumbers up the stairs to the back door of his house. The day is finally over! He’s tired and sore from leaning over the engine of another Corvette - this one a 1979 burgundy convertible. He gave it a full tune-up, which took most of the afternoon. It ran like a top when he was done, and the owner was delighted.

Buck hates Corvettes - mostly because of their owners, except for one.  But he’s a good mechanic and over the years has become the Corvette go-to guy in town.  Oh, and the money is good.

Tonight, all Buck wants is a tuna sandwich, a few cold beers, and a hockey game to watch on TV.  Halfway into the first beer, he thinks that maybe the tuna sandwich would be better toasted and laughs at himself because he’s not generally that concerned about his food.  Ever since his wife died, food is just something to make his stomach stop growling.  She was the gourmet in the house.

She was his everything. It’s like they were made for each other.  Right from the beginning of their relationship, people said they were such a cute couple. He always took her hand in his.  At first so he could protect her but as time went on, he drew strength from her touch.

“C’mon Buck. Find the toaster” he said to himself …or maybe he said out loud as he moved to the basement.  The toaster had been hidden in the basement, on the top shelf out of Julia’s reach ever since she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease.  It’s a silly thing, but she loved to make toast. The disease took that away from her along with her memory and her smile.  Buck finally had to hide the toaster after she almost burned down the kitchen … again.

“C’mon Buck - just get the toaster and go back upstairs” he said to himself.   He puts the toaster on the counter, plugs it in then notices a pink envelope in the toaster with “To My Dream Guy” written by Julia and his hands start shaking. He can’t yet bring himself to open the envelope, so he opens another beer, gets the tuna salad out of the fridge, and takes the envelope over to the kitchen table.  He wonders how and when Julia put the envelope into the toaster as she was a tiny woman - just a minute of a thing they used to say.  But she was determined so it doesn’t really surprise him how she made this happen.  Typical Julia. Wonderful Julia. His Julia.

After a while, he opened the envelope and started reading.

My darling Buck,

After I’m gone for the last time, please know how much I loved you.  Remember when I brought my car to your shop?  Your gentle smile put me at ease, and I knew you weren’t one of “those” mechanics who can’t be trusted.  Though it took while for you to ask me out, you were often in my thoughts.  I made up mystery noises in my car so I could spend a little time with you.  After we started dating, people often said “You’re such a cute couple” which stayed with us for years.

Through the years, our love grew stronger, and I leaned on you through good times and bad.  And now, here we are facing our toughest challenge - Alzheimer’s.  Although we take this journey together, my ride is much easier than yours.  I will be confused, forgetful and even more stubborn than usual.  I’ll probably be mean to you and others around us.  There will come a time when I won’t recognize you.  That won’t be the real me.  The real me still loves you dearly.

I am writing this note now while I still can.  I’m leaving it in the toaster, so you’ll find it after I’m gone, although I don’t know when because you’re not a big fan of toast.  And yes, I used the step ladder to reach the toaster.

And so, my darling husband, I apologize in advance for the monster I became.  That’s why your ride is much more difficult than mine.  You had to endure both versions of me.

I know that when the end comes, the monster dies, and my soul is left with wonderful memories of our love for each other. We will meet again, my darling. You are always my dream guy … even if you didn’t like my Corvette.

Love, Julia